Category: Horoscopes Pub2

  • Pisces 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… Like a stray bit of tinsel stuck to your behind, you may be feeling emotionally attached to a plan you’ve made. Don’t Be The Tinsel, clinging and refusing to go back in the holiday box. You’re infamous for being iffy about compromise, Pisces, but sometimes plans get twisted by life. Instead of clinging desperately to the plan you made while life goes sideways, consider making a new plan. In fact, this is the perfect time for making your resolutions (even if you refuse to call them that). The vibes today will be strong for love, which will help you focus on your priorities, making it easier to make the right choice for you. Maybe let go of the plan that’s flailing in favor of going with the flow and finding a new one. Now go tell this year to get bent and enjoy the start of something new!

  • Aquarius 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… Universe: Here, have some responsibilities. (shoves them into your face) Aquarius: Oh, uh, no thank you. I’ve had quite enough of these this year (Slides them under their bed). You could be in charge of taking care of some important issue or problem today. Once you get to it, you’ll do it like a Boss just like you do everything. If this year has you tired of responsibility, at least it’s very nearly almost over. Use the vibes to power up, take charge, and then take action to propel you into what will hopefully be a better, kinder year to us all. After you’ve done your duties, you can have a snack and take a nap. How does that sound, buddy?

  • Capricorn 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… No one wants to see “professional jerk” on a resume. That’s not exactly a special skill. Sometimes, being an assertive self-starter can come across as being a big fat jerkface when you don’t take care with your delivery, Cap. With today’s vibe, you may be in charge of conflict resolution at work or in your personal life. Own it, but don’t be cocky about it. The vibe today will be all about resolving conflict and feeling the love. Get those problems taken care of, so you can truly connect with the people you care about without the headache of drama. You’ve got this, Cap!

  • Sagittarius 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… Like a developing brain-eating virus being scrutinized under a microscope, Sagittarians could feel like they’re at the center of attention this Thursday. Will you feel smothered or embrace the vibes? That will be up to you. You deserve some R&R, don’t ya? That was a rhetorical question. You don’t have a say in this. The answer is yes. Period. So, if someone starts doting on you, you don’t have to put up a resistance. You can also totally dote on yourself, though. There’s no need to wait for someone else to step up. Get your warmth on!

  • Scorpio 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… Love is in the air, so go ahead and take big greedy gulps, Scorpio! Go ahead and embrace that bravery and spill your heart out today! Whether you’ve been craving romance or just really want to show gratitude to someone you care about who has been especially kind to you (a friend, family, your pet iguana, etc.), the vibes today will be perfect for doing something plucky to show how you feel! Wear your heart on your sleeve — not literally, though, because then you’d probably be dead and that would be bad because then you couldn’t read these awesome horoscopes anymore… So, embrace the loving nurturing vibes and use them to go confidently in the direction of your dreams and stuff. Out with this old year, and let’s go into the new.

  • Libra 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… Go on and post that selfie that makes you look uh-mazing. You look good, and you know it, and when you get put in charge of a big problem, you’ll feel confident enough to tackle it without as much as a flicker. The vibe today will be strong for attention, love, and nurturing, but it may also help you focus in on solutions. Take the recognition that comes your way by skipping the humble brag and going straight to the part where you show that you’re one of the best in the Zodiac for kicking tail and taking names. You do you, and you’ll shine bright like a diamond. Go ring in this new year being fabulous, Libra.

  • Virgo 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… You know those people who literally poop themselves when their fast food order comes out wrong? Well, that could be Virgos today. Use your ability to bounce back from setbacks and maybe a dash of humor to get over yourself and any failed expectations. Why not laugh about the things that don’t go your way? The vibes today will be about holding onto set expectations, but they will also be about LOVE… and those are the vibes to grab onto. No anger moments in the middle of Burger King, okay? Enjoy the ride, V.

  • Leo 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… Grab your crown and settle into your throne, Leo, because you could be in charge of taking care of important issues this Thursday. All Hail the Ruler of the Galaxy! Okay, back it up. If people look to you as an advisor, don’t let it go to your head. Being the center of attention as a guru and guide could serve to stoke your ego. Try not to let that little voice take over, Lion. There are more ways to rule than there are ways to chop off a tyrant’s head. Keep that in mind while you lend an ear and pass on your well of wisdom like the boss you are.

  • Cancer 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… All you need is love… It’s a great song, but maybe The Beatles left out a few other things you might actually need, Cancer. Like healthy boundaries. And good communication. Self-awareness. Realistic expectations. I’m not trying to ruin a freaking brilliant song, so no need to launch into a defense of arguably the best band in the history of ever. But the vibes will be strong for love and attention today. Which sounds awesome, but your need for connection could be dangerous if you don’t keep in mind that love needs to come with some other things, too. What you want matters. For love. For work. For your life. Heck, yes, I’m saying love yourself and don’t just settle for whatever love and attention happens to come your way. Jot that down on your resolution list, and go wave buh-bye to the weirdest year in the history of ever!

  • Gemini 6-29-23

    Jun 29, 2023… Keep calm? How about you go smudge yourself with your Carry On nonsense because the year is almost over, and Gemini has had enough of the nonsense! Instead of using your energy in a nuclear meltdown of insane proportions, use your brain to reevaluate and move forward. Your goal may still be achievable, even if there are a few detours along the way. This whole year might feel like one big freaking detour, but it’s at an end. If that’s not a cause to celebrate, I don’t know what is.